In the year 2011, Pakistan had lost semi final match of the Cricket World Cup to India. Generally, we support only two teams: Pakistan, and the one playing against India. For the final match, I was supporting Sri Lanka but off the mark India won the match. It was a very difficult time for me and like every desi I promised not to watch cricket again, but unlike other desis I have kept that promise. I still do not watch cricket match but I am only interested in the result: who won, who lost? The bruises were still green when I was selected to attend the Global Undergraduate Exchange Program at Troy University in Alabama, United States.
The first Indian I met asked me: “Cricket daikhte ho aap? (Do you watch cricket?)”
I unabashedly dropped sarcastic remarks about the Indian cricket team, intentionally wanting the conversation to take an unpleasant mode. My opponent, however, was saner. Perhaps, I was not the first Pakistani he was interacting with. Six months into the exchange program, I met so many Indians. The more I interacted with them, the more I realized how much we had in common. We share much more than our common history: similar foods, dressing, languages, and even friendly abuses. As our friendship grew up, I was invited by other Indian friends for Diwali and Eid celebrations. The food was desi’ly delicious, in every gathering. However, during some of the get-togethers, a few people, they, by their tone of language, indicted Pakistan of mistreating Hindus and supporting separatist moments. I was not offended neither defensive, anymore. Perhaps it’s also their textbooks, politicians, media, and the popular discourse.
I spent another of the Eid with friends from Arab and Middle East but kept missing that bond and connection that was a thing of only the Indo-Pak gatherings. Dawning was also the realization of, how Indians and Pakistanis instantly connected in a third country as desis beyond the cruel boundaries back home.
On the exchange program, I fell ill and was hospitalized for a month. In the hospital, hundreds of people came to visit. It no more surprised me that most of those coming to help were from two countries: my beloved country Pakistan, and the rival country India! I could not develop taste for the hospital food. The Indian friends went out of their way to send me desi food three times a day. Even Indian doctors who were not dealing with my particular medical case, Indian visitors of other patients came to visit when they heard that a Pakistani is admitted in the hospital.
This Indo-Pak experience greatly impacted the educational part of my exchange experience as well. I was an accounting major during the exchange program, butit wasn’t long before I realized my capacity for change would be greater if I took up international relations. Once back home in 2012, I not only enrolled for a degree in International Relations, but also reached out to more Indians using social media. With friends I met on social media, I co-organized events for building peace and friendship between India and Pakistan. It was the beginning of the journey towards Aaghaz-e-Dosti (literal meaning beginning of friendship).
The most memorable of classes at Quaid-i-Azam University included ‘Defence Policy of India and Pakistan’, and ‘Politics of India’. It was during the Indian elections that in the latter course, I was to represent the position of the BJP. I researched the party’s manifesto and electoral position, articulated my view in front of others in my counterparts, and tried convincing my fellows to support my position. I also represented India during a Model Shanghai Cooperation Organization Summit. I (as India), and one of my friends who was representing Pakistan were unsupportive of each other’s membership in the SCO. These exposures were very transformative. In the meanwhile, I was selected to attend the Global Youth Peace Fest (GYPF) by a Chandigarh, India based organization Yuvsatta in the year 2013. My father took some convincing to allow me to go to India, but once I arrived, I, I was showered with hospitality, love, and care. Almost every Indian said and implied ‘we are the same people what if the borders lie in between.’ Indians gave me so much love, respect, and identity that I felt totally at home there; it is just like going global without leaving home. No one asked me if I was a Muslim; their religious identities did not matter for me either.
When I returned from the visit, Yuvsatta appointed me as their International Board Member for the annual Global Youth Peace Fest. I then onwards have headed two peace delegations to India. Every time I tell my friends I was going to India, every time they repeat this things: “dimagh kharab hai?”, “pagal ho?”, “India bhee koi jata hai?”, “zinda wapas aana”, “abi halaat nahi theek, baad mai jaana”. They tried to strengthen around me the fear of the unseen. But I realized that every time I crossed the boundaries of fear that I found on the other side only one thing: love. My belief in the meeting, exchanging, and stronger p2p relations was reconsolidated. I got my stereotypes and biases broken and broke that of others.
Being a member of the Pakistan-US Alumni Network (PUAN) and an elected Youth Director I have been part of the planning and organizing committee of different international conferences. Hosting Indian exchange alumni in Pakistan was an enriching experience in and of itself. When I hosted my other Indian friends in Islamabad and Lahore, I witnessed my fellow Pakistanis showering them with love and warmth.. Both Pakistanis and Indians are very curious to know how people on the other side look like, how they speak, how they live. If it were not for the difficult borders, people would know this, that those on the other side also look like us.
Through GYPF, PUAN, and Aaghaz-e-Dosti (AED), I have had the opportunity to interact with thousands of Indians. AED aims to create unwavering bonds of peace and friendship between India and Pakistan. Operating for the past three years, Aaghaz-e-Dosti has recently been felicitated as Award Winner by Digital Empowerment Foundation (DEF), India at the 3rd Social Media for Empowerment Awards & Summit under the category of Advocacy, Communication and Development Activism. I, as part of AED, have been working for peace building and conflict resolution by facilitating people-to-people contact, challenging mutual hatred and suspicion, creating a culture of peace and understanding among people of both countries. The work is just a drop in the ocean and lot more needs to be done. It is not enough to say we are the same people on both sides of the border or that the land has been divided. But that how do we thrive on our similarities and make the most of our difference? What stops us from bringing peace within and without?
My exchange program was a watershed and an eye-opener to how Indian and Pakistanis are living in peaceful and cooperative relation in the U.S. and call themselves ‘desis’. #ExchangesAre transcending the rigid, traditional, and rival boundaries of India and Pakistan.
Aliya Harir is the Youth Director of Pakistan US Alumni Network (PUAN), Islamabad. She is the Convener of a cross-border friendship initiative called Aaghaz-e-Dosti and also serves as the International Board Member for annual Global Youth Peace Fest, Chandigarh.
